I'm not sure, but I think I may be the most depressed I've been in quite some time. Last night, I sunk to a new low, where even the sad story of Sylvia Plath couldn't cheer me up, where I fell asleep fast and woke up incredibly slow. I'm not sure how depressed I am since even today, I could be happy. I laughed at things. I did my assignments silently and diligently. But I've felt full-body weak for days now. It feels like a struggle just to keep my eyelids open sometimes. Last Friday, I took three naps in one day, even going as far as to fall asleep on Mitch's shoulder. I feel extremely sad, almost like I'm in mourning.
I told my mom I didn't at all want to go to school tomorrow. When she asked why, I sighed and said I just didn't want to. It was hard enough to wake up today, let alone put on clothes, and shoes, and try to put the night behind me. I told her I just need a breather. Really, I just want to stay in bed all day. I want to sleep when I'm tired and drink peppermint tea. And I want to not take the bus for three hours. I want to not feel lonely and not feel angry, and I want to not care.
My mood is nose-diving. It's been a very long time since I had to use the tag "depression," but today I must.
No comments:
Post a Comment