Thursday, November 13, 2008

Razzle, dazzle

Last time I saw a calendar, it was Monday. I can't believe how quickly time has flown by. I end up getting caught in essays, and math studies, songs for band, and talent show practice, and on top of that I'm trying to plummet through Pynchon's The Crying of Lot 49. By this point of the week, all I want to do is kind of crawl up into a ball and sleep for fourteen hours.

Tomorrow, I'm playing at my school's talent show. As most my friends know, I'm one-half of a two-person band called Samson & Goliath. We've written a stretch of darker songs lately. Darker songs that can't be played in school, because of the line, "Killed a man in Mississippi, killed a man in West Missouri, etc." Plus, I didn't think I could handle the thought of playing one of our own songs, songs that I've written lyrically, songs that my best pal Elan and I have stressed over, in front of the most judgmental people on the planet.

But I changed my mind.

All because of the Hipsters at my school. The ones who listen to Wilco and Why? and Battles, and wear cowboy boots, and play instruments like post-rock bands do. One of the hipsters, Cesar, (which is pronounced Caesar, and not Say-zar) asked me if I played any musical instruments while I was waiting for the bus. I said yes, guitar and vocals and I write lyrics too and I guess I sort of sing but not really well why do you ask. He told me he'd seen the flyers for my band up around the school, could he have a demo. I said yes, and brought it the next day.

I was terrified he'd hate it. And hipsters, they're the worst when it comes to music. They're extremely particular. But he said today that he liked it a lot, gave some other criticism, and was on his merry way.

Because of this, I now must prove to my high school that I can be better than that demo. While I love how the demo turned out, I think I can feel it deep inside that we could have done better. These were our first songs. I'd be lying, though, if I said I wasn't nervous about showing off fresh product in front of kids who really could care less what shade of blue my hair is now. I'm very nervous. I think they'll probably tear me apart. So either I have to be completely mediocre, or I have to pull the talent out of my ass, and razzle/dazzle.

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