My War of the Wireless Roses

I may never get a proper wireless connection.

And this fact is extremely irritating. I got this laptop mainly for the fact that I was sick of my mother being able to enter my personal files whenever she wanted, I was sick of being constantly bellyached at for having a life on the Internet, and I was sick of sharing our family's computer. So was my family.

When they said I was going to have my own laptop, I thought that meant I would be able to access the Internet from anywhere in our home, which meant I would no longer be pent up all day in the small office. I basically said a Hail Mary right then because the small office is SO FUCKING HOT. For example, today was the first day that Utah actually felt like Spring, and this small office already has sweltered to about 80 degrees. It's in a horrible place. In the summer it's a swamp, in the winter it's a tundra. The room's window faces West, so every day, I get the beautiful ball of nuclear fission spitting in my eye and blinding me through the metal blinds that totally and completely soak up heat and radiate it back into the goddamn room.

But that whole work-wherever-and-avoid-the-wrath-of-parents-who-request-more-of-your-time thing? It didn't exactly work out that way.

I got this laptop for Christmas, which, by my count, was a full one hundred and nine days ago. For all one hundred and nine of those days, any time I've wanted to access the internet, I've had to clamber behind the PC's processor and unplug the yellow patch cord from the processor and re-insert it into my own laptop. And since the modem must at all times be plugged into the phone jack directly behind the PC, I must do all of my business from...

Any guesses?

Yes. I must do all my business from RIGHT NEXT TO THE ACTUAL COMPUTER.
I swear to God, there is no change in this home, ever. And while I appreciate my laptop for its separate abilities, it seems almost useless for my parents to claim to "need" me to have this laptop, to get out of the office so it can stay an open space for all. Apparently, the need wasn't big enough for them to spend the extra hundred dollars for a wireless router.

My father has been procrastinating on buying the wireless router that we both need, now that he's gone and bought a laptop, as well. I asked him when the router could be expected a few weeks ago. His answer was impossibly vague. "Sometime in the future." Not even near future. Just the future.

If it comes to the point where I have to buy a router for myself, with my own money, so be it. But I can promise you this, internet community. He will not be getting a piece of the wireless pie.

This is war.