My Hello... Hello...

Have you ever felt so alone that, even though there are people a room away from you, you still feel like you could call out, "Hello?" and there'd be no answer? Have you ever felt so alone that, even though you have a boyfriend who loves you and who is literally perfect for you, you still cry into your hands at night? Have you ever felt so alone that you take a bath in the middle of the day? Have you ever felt so alone that the boundary between life and death seems ultimately blurred? That nothing seems to have a point anymore, and you realize you were living only to please someone else? Have you ever pulled out your heart and given it to someone, only to feel they've gotten bored with it? Have you ever looked outside your window and seen nothing?

I am in the middle of such a deep depression that I want to crash through the glass, run until my legs pump battery acid, pass out where nobody will find me. I will die how I've lived, alone and forgotten. The music is coming out of every car driving overhead with steam and steam again smoking out of exhausted exhaust pipes, choking tree leaves which fall on the body of a frustrated and uninspired adolescent in agonized isolation. Leaves cover and then rescue. They can't help me where they can't find me. And I want to stop thinking, because it only gets me into trouble. Analyze, analyze, analyze. This lyric means this, this statement means that, he is saying this under his tone of that and everything is a facade, nothing means what it means, no more! No more, of all this sort of never ending ballad in my brain, bleeding, attacking, corroding.

It is a very good thing that he has moved on from you. It is for the best and the best are for it. Have you ever been so alone your toes go numb? Every cell of blood in my body is beating his name, but the calls are ignored in favor of his baby blues. Wide-eyed browns are crying tonight. Have you ever been so alone that every word sounds like, "loneliness, loneliness"? Have you ever been so alone that your heart slows down, and you are only breathing with the tempo of music hopefully saving your life?

Wide-eyed browns release oceans onto the bedsheets, in favor of a worser fate.