New notebook

Whenever I get a new notebook, it comes with this sense of excitement, like this new notebook could totally rock my world, and I wouldn't even know. There's a specific kind I like, this red three subject composition book. When I'm rich, I'm going to buy about thirty of them and keep them on a special shelf so I never run out.

I try not to overdose on notebooks, though. I try to only get them when I need them. My new notebook was completely warranted, as my backpack has disappeared from my house and it'll never be found ever again, so the only paper I have is in a fat, embarrassing binder (I once thought writing pseudo-wise comments like "God is Dead!" all over the place was really cool) and in my History notebook, which is for History notes and not Samson & Goliath songs.

We had a show tonight at the Tea Grotto. Lately, we've had a trend of people not showing up, leaving early, or something along those lines. We invite tons of friends, who say they'll come, and then last minute they cancel, or they have work, something came up, whatever. It's really nerve-racking. You stare at the door and nobody is coming in. There's five people sitting around, you can't tell if you should wait until more people show up, or just start the show. This may be the only audience you'll have all night. I'm not complaining, because we do end up having a good time, and we usually end up with something in our pockets, but it really makes me question who my "true" friends are.

There are people who can't come, and there are people who don't come. Matty couldn't make it because he was working all night. Tiffany couldn't come because she was miles away from anywhere. But there are people who say they'll go and give no word as to why they didn't. Half of you wants to get mad at them, not talk to them, blame them for not coming. The other half of you knows you shouldn't. And so you smile and say it's okay that they didn't make it. And the show was good. And you tell them that you had a really awesome time.

I can't wait until I don't have to promote at all. When somebody else can print out flyers, call everybody they know, do everything that Elan and I have to do ourselves. I can't wait until it'll be us everyone goes to see without being told just how and when to get there.

In other words, yes, I'm super stoked to have my new notebook.