Morning, glory

Sometimes I write to get the willies out. Sometimes I write to impress people. Other times, I write because I have an assignment due, because I am bored, or because I am trying to calm myself. I have done one of each today. I've written the outline of a screenplay, written poems for and about people in class... and I've written to try and quell the fears that even now are swashing up in my belly and making me feel very sick. This, however, is not one of those fears I can broadcast to the Internet. It's not a fear of spiders, for instance. A fear of spiders (which I do happen to have) would be appropriate to talk about over the Internet. What's up with them crazy arachnids, huh? Huh!?

Unfortunately, right now I feel like if I don't exercise a very strong will, my dinner might make a comeback all over this dingy white keyboard. I don't mind dirt. Stomach acid and bits of potatoes, I do.

Also unfortunately, I can't... stop... coughing. I took Dorothy out for a spin to conquer this daunting hill, my white whale, and I'm proud to admit that I have ascended the hill, but was a complete fool. I failed to calculate that after coasting past my house, I would have to ride back over the slighter hill up to my house from the street beneath it. I'm used to riding a mountain bike. I also failed to calculate how difficult it is for me to scale molehills, at any gear, on my dear road bike.

Fast forward ten minutes or so, and there I was lying face-flat on my bed with my heart thundering against my chest, legs, and forehead. I sounded like I was dying, literally. This is so totally uncool. I've said it once, I'll say it again. I feel like I'm going to vomit. The problem with this problem is that I can't tell if it's because of my foolish riding plan, or if it's because of some underlying condition that is forcing my stomach to swash about. Either way, I am unhappy. I am very unhappy.

Tonight, I am writing to get the willies out. To condemn my tummy and commend my bike for successfully kicking my ass once more. Tonight, I am writing because I feel very lost, very confused, and very, very frightened. One never knows what the future holds.