My custom van

I have registration for school tomorrow, and I've been staying up until two o' clock every single morning this summer just because sleep is for the weak. I've been sleeping until two and waking up sometimes at noon, sometimes at one, building a very strong routine that is going to be tough as nails to break. Luckily, my Small Film School starts later than other schools. Unluckily, the ride home is long, and I started to rely on my in-car naps by the end of last year. Even then, it was cause for concern, not because of the havoc it was wreaking on my sleep schedule, but because I hope to be able to drive myself to and from school, and I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel. Can you imagine the terror? Barreling down the highway is a brown van with a wizard and band logo painted on the side, with a small girl asleep at the wheel, blasting bass beats from Belle & Sebastian, puffing exhaust fumes and coming to fuckin' get you.

My parents think I'm far too anxious to get my driver's license. I think I just don't want to end up one of those people who puts it off and puts it off, and eternally spends time as a passenger. I have thought this shit out. I have thought this shit out to the point of where I'm going to park at home and how I'm going to take naps in the back on particularly distressing days. I've already promised my friend Markie that we can take my van to the Maverik down the street to get the really, really good blue slushies. I have just about planned the design of the Samson & Goliath logo and spell-casting wizard that's supposed to be painted on the side window. I have decided what type of key fob I'll attach to my keys, so I won't lose them and so they'll jangle and shake as I drive.

If you believe in that The Secret bullshit (obviously I don't) this is probably enough evidence to convince you that I will be using the Law of Wishing Hard Enough to hope this van into existence. I need this van like Hayden Christensen needs acting lessons. This van would be useful for a multitude of causes. Band van. Nap machine. Transport to band practice, my grandma's house, and the store to buy milk and honey and unleavened challah bread.

I am a van person. Imagine one of your friends, one of your friends who doesn't have a car, and picture what vehicle they would drive. I would drive a van. I would never be homeless as long as I had a van. My school identity would not only be "that girl who wears sweater vests" but "that girl who wears sweater vests and drives a motherfucking van." A motherfucking van, which I would name something like Jenny or Randy, and it would be my baby.