I'm going to come out on this blog and say it. I'm insecure about my relationship with Andy. I think my friends were probably right when they told me I was a rebound. And if that's true, then I would just like to know it now, so I can end it on my own terms. I don't know, exactly. I don't know what I'm feeling.
Diantha has been relentless in her tirade against me. No matter what I do, I'm somehow wrong for doing it. For leaving the group for their own comfort. For cleaning out the locker we shared and moving my things from it, which would have been a hassle to remove on the last day. Everything I do is wrong. She hates me no matter how hard I try to be kindhearted. To be honest, I'm sick of it. I'm done with being a nice person to her. It's time that I stop taking what she says lightly. I can fight, and I'm going to.
But still. I have so much on my mind. I wish that someone could tell me what the future holds. Not so I could change it, but so I could have some sort of idea. Right now I'm stumbling along a dusty path that was carved for me long ago. I want to take hold of myself and find the way.
What's wrong with me?
1 comment:
See, and on my side, I see it as you hate me no matter what I do.
Though I will admit I just GAVE UP. Because I was tired of helping you and getting no help back. And what you considered 'help' was yelling at me.
We want you to stay our friend. I want to be JD and Turk again, and it takes a lot of effort on both sides.
And I guess it will take a lot from me, too. But it's just hard. Very hard...
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