My Pinatas!

Oh, fish. Everything is seeming to snowball, and my life is not that stressful, not by a long shot, but I'm still all worn thin. I'm trying to write a cache of songs that I can expand upon and work upon and end up with a very tidy finished project by the summertime, when I'll go out to the Gateway and try to sell demo CDs on the street. That is, if the police don't accost me again. But fish! I feel like low-fat butter left to sit and rot in the refrigerator. And I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of the "high school experience" by having a steady boyfriend, and all this moronic twitter back and forth and back and forth and I feel as though I put too much espresso into my coffee.

Every day, as I'm entering the school building, I think to myself, "I hate these people." But I don't! I really don't. I hate some of the people, but I know that if someone's a douchebag it's most likely because they're trying just as hard to fit in and "find their place." I'm just tired of it. Already. I'm tired of formulating opinions of people when I have only heard them talking about stem cell research and the way they feel when someone is staring at them.

I really just want to go to a party, or go far from here and maybe sleep in a foreign bed for hours on end. I want someone to make me spaghetti and meatballs, and lie with me in that bed watching HBO and the local news. We can keep the drapes closed through the entire day and then open them when the neon lights come out to play.

And I want a pinata. I want a donkey pinata filled with gummi fruits.

I need to do a lot of catching up on Biology homework, I ought to be doing it right now, but I'm too caught up in my own writing world to begin it. There's definitely been a lot of stress lately. I'm not sure why, but it probably has something to do with the increase of things I've been attempting. There is much to be balanced and I have weak arms. They're paper thin from the constant sloughing of my skin as it tries to relieve me of the slightest amount of weight.

Please, someone send me a pinata. I need to bash something in for the pure reward of it.