My Vaccinations

Though I am taking every precaution not to become pregnant, I have very recently become awash in a sea of Babies. I've had dreams about babies. I've been reading about babies. I've been dining on only the finest babies, imported from France, and drinking bottled baby blood from South Africa.
And of course, there can never be a mass quantity of things without repercussions.

My mother told me today, as I climbed into our minutes-from-breaking-down Honda Civic, that I would be going to the doctor's office to have not one, but two shots. Two needles to be jabbed into my arm only centimeters apart, for diseases I have never had. When will I get Hepatitus A? That isn't even one of the important Hepatituses! So what if chicken pox are deadly to someone at my age? I don't care, as long as I'm not currently scratching my skin off in sheets. I've got a dinner of Marseilles 18-month old. I don't need to worry about anything.

Incidentally, I had offered the Medical Frequent Flyer Dobbl a ride home, though my doctor's appointment was right after school, and so, she came with. She and I joked about the fact that this was probably going to be my only medical visit of the year. And then, we got to the pediatrician. Never before in my life have I seen more blonde elementary schoolers in one location, and I live in Utah. Blonde children in coats, blonde children in jumpers, blonde children in matching scarves and hats and us. The one with a shaved head, and the one with makeup on her face to make her look old.

Sitting in that waiting room, I resolved that I would under no circumstances raise my child in Utah. Whether she is blonde or not, I will not give birth to my child here, knowing that she will only experience a vague sense of ostracism because of her religion, or lack thereof. It was hard enough for me to grow up here, and I was a Christian until fifth grade. The thing about Utah is not the Mormon religion. It is the group mindset, the idea that everyone should look the same, and that certain stereotypes are more beautiful than others. You will find more bleached-blonde hair here and young marriages than California, and that is a fact I am constantly trying to prove.

I don't want my child to have to feel bad about herself just because of her eye color, or her ancestors' ethnicity. I don't want her to feel like she has to lie to people about where she "comes" from. And though it will be many years before I'm even ready to consider getting pregnant, I'm going to keep this resolution, no matter what it takes.

No amount of hypodermic needles will change who I am.