My Accidental Orchestration

A few days ago, I accidentally orchestrated a drug deal. Or at least, accidentally signed up for one. I'm pretty sure that if the cops ever read my blog, they're going to KILL. ME. This? This is like another nail in the coffin. So please excuse me if it's really vague, I don't want to release specifics, but I have to tell this story.

I was on public transportation after school recently, my friend and I were going in search of a worthy value menu, and my friend happened to notice the skater who was standing above us. The Skater noticed the Friend noticing him, and greeted us with a casual "sup." The Friend, being totally naive to all things skateboarding, asked what the hell was with the wheels on the Skater's skate. I should tell you here that the skate was one of those with extra wheels for more control or something. The Skater did not understand, and decided the Friend was just an asshole for asking. Things looked grim for the Friend. So I said to the Skater, "I like your sweater," because I felt obligated to compliment him and possibly avoid the Friend's shit getting kicked from him. The Skater divulged me in conversation, and once the public transportation departed, he leaned in a bit closer to me and said, "Do you smoke?" I figured he meant tobacco, which I try to smoke when possible. I said yes. He then contemplated a bit, and said "I don't, but I deal." Had I been a robot, this would be the point where red flashing lights began their vigil in my eyes. The Skater then added, "We should hook you up sometime." The red flashing lights just exploded.

1. I don't smoke the ganja.

2. I never have smoked the ganja.

3. I don't carry money for ganja-buying.

4. I have never carried money for ganja-buying.

The entire conversation, the Friend's eyes were nearly bulging out of his skull. He simply could not believe that, for one thing, I smoked anything at all. For another, he couldn't believe how "cool" I was being through the situation. Damn. I can't believe how "cool" I was playing it, either. So I sort of dismissed it, but mostly didn't, and I would see the Skater in the halls and think, "That's the kid who wants to sell me the ganja."

So today, I was taking public transportation again, this time with a different group of Friends, and the Skater happened to be on that same transportation. He tapped me on the shoulder and asked me some jumble of German-sounding words. I squinted the international sign for "EXCUSE ME?" He repeated, this time holding two fingers to his mouth in the international sign for "Amsterdam." I sort of shrugged, leaning in close, and nearly whispered, "I didn't bring my cash." The Skater nodded and I locked eyes with him to signify, in my case, "Don't you understand that I'm a goody-two-shoes?" I think, in his case, it meant "Don't give up, I'll bring you the benjamins, I swear!"

[Just by the way, Police Internet Officer? I'm not planning on buying anything of that nature. Okay? Okay.]