My One and Only Unholy

Today officially marks the day I stop loving my mom. For a while I've had a strong dislike for her, but I think today she pulled the final straw. I was supposed to go to the Outdoor Mall Galleria with this kid Dillon, which would put a proper closure to all of the bad memories from seventh grade, and I could successfully move on, to Hell School and the rest of my life, but no. According to her, I didn't tell her I was going anywhere today besides Diantha's house. Therefore she wasn't so sure about it. Of course, I had dealt with this mood of hers before, in which she refuses to make a decision until it's too late. "Oh, let me think about it." She'll say. And then the minute before I would be leaving, she erupts, "No. I'm not comfortable with..." insert whatever deed I was about to do. This behavior is extremely frustrating. So today, I had had enough. I said to her "Look, this isn't a helpful way to parent. 'Oh, maybe' is not going to help me in any way at all. So just say no, for Christ's sake. Just tell me I can't instead of leading me on like this." And then she was silent for a little while, and I said "Are you gonna let me go or not?" and she snapped no, and then I very furiously began texting Dillon to tell him I couldn't join him at the Outdoor Mall Galleria. "This is very inconvienient for everyone." I hissed at her. She began some tirade about how it shouldn't matter for Dillon if he was already with a group of people, which he sort of was, he was bringing Matt along, but I didn't care, I was too busy relieving the urge to slice her throat and mine by brushing my teeth in a locked bathroom.

This is my mother. She instills bad examples into me. For instance, she may not see any trouble in cancelling plans at the last minute, but I do. And who ends up looking bad? I do. She may ask me to call her every time I move when I'm at someone else's house, but does she ever answer her phone when she's out with friends? No. She may let me wake up at five in the morning to take public transportation to school, but the idea of talking to strangers online? INCONCEIVABLE! Somehow it isn't okay for me to be anywhere alone with a boy, but I can attempt suicide multiple times and that's just fine.

I hate her.
When I write my autobiography, this will all be ended with the phrase "And that's when I knew I'd never be able to look at her the same ever again, that's the moment I truly decided she would be dead to me."